today… starting with yesterday

Today was a rough day.

This rough started with my day yesterday. I planned too much for the day.

I had in my head that I would complete a whole bedding set, pillows and all. I would prepare two lessons for church, make cupcakes, cuts A’s hair, vacuum, and fold my laundry.

Not one thing was completely finished besides my lessons, and those weren’t spot on.

A and I went out early in the morning to run our errands to get the finishing touches for my project so I could start sewing. I started sewing at 11:30 am… when 7:30 pm rolled around and I wasn’t even done with the duvet cover, my emotions plummeted low.

How could I have not finished everything I set out for doing? 

I took a time out on my bedding-less bed trying to analyze what went wrong, while all along knowing that I knew this would happen before the day even began. I planned too much.

With much gratitude, my husband and girl came to cheer me up and help me get back to work again. They vacuumed, picked up toys, and then he took A out to some friends so I could have time to do my lessons. The night finished fairly well with no trailing emotions… or so I thought.

This morning was like someone opened the flood gates to my emotions. I was crying about everything, starting with the rain outside. My mood was as dismal as the rain. I didn’t feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost in letting me know that the lessons I needed to teach would be what someone needed to hear. I was aware of everyone – like they could see through my facade and see that I was having a hard morning. In sacrament meeting, it seemed like all I did was tell A to sit down, get off the floor, or turn around. I struggled through my lesson (and thankfully, didn’t have to teach the other one in the end) and seemed to notice just how many of the sisters weren’t paying attention. I just felt like a complete failure.

I came home from church, undressed and climbed into bed. I laid there for some time pondering on the events of the past two days. Then I was sparked by President Uchtdorfs talk from Conference about slowing down. I felt the sudden comfort from the spirit that I needed to read that talk again, that I planned too much, that it wears on my family when I do, that I need to do better at balancing my time.

I love this quote from President Uchtdorf’s talk :

My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness. They will teach us to do “all these things . . . in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby . . . win the prize.”

I changed pace for the rest of today. I have slowed down and hid my to do list for tonight. My dishes aren’t done, my house is kind of disheveled, but my family is happy and I feel so much better. I understand what the prize is now and tonight, I obtained it.