parenting–teens - it’s not just you


situation 1: my mom chats with me over gmail this past week. she told me all about her struggles trying to layout and organize the expectations and schedule for this coming school year. she has just my younger brother left at home and he is a senior (yikes!) anyway, she was distraught because she felt like nothing she said penetrated that thick skulled teenager (my words, not hers :). she felt down and defeated because a couple of days previous, she and I discussed Love and Logic principles to help her out in this situation… letting him choose consequences, laying out the rules of the family so there are not questions to be asked, deciding on how to go about the process of answering all the w questions when he goes out (who, what, where, why, etc). she felt good about what she decided to do about it and I knew just from talking to her that her intentions were spot on with trying to set things so there wasn’t problems in the coming months. let’s just say, it was a complete fail! I felt so bad for her…

situation 2: I took my sweet family to Ross to get some much needed shoes for the hubby and a birthday gift for little miss A who turned three on Saturday. Here we are at the shoe rack and I am suggesting a whole bunch of good looking pairs of shoes to my hubby… who is unresponsive to my suggestions. then we overheard this conversation between a mother and teenage son…

mom- have you looked at these (pointing at the size 11 rack)

son- yes mom (kind of put out)

mom- what about these (holding up a really nice pair of shoes, but after looking at the boy, DEFINITELY not his style)

son- moooom! DON’T choose shoes for me!

My hubby and I looked at eachother and smirked, but I realized the truth… and stopped suggesting pairs of shoes to my hubby.

As the girls in the family moved on to the toys, leaving dad behind, my thoughts turned to my mom. I wanted her to hear this conversation so bad! it made me realize that we really aren’t alone as we think we are. she just wanted to throw in the towel on trying to be a good parent. but as I have thought about this, I would rather have my children remember that I was suggesting shoes that weren’t in their style than having them remember that I wasn’t available to take them shoe shopping for school. I hope these situations can lift the souls of those who need strength to keep going.

“Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done even though you don’t want to”

Keep it up mothers!

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